Flirting and the Friend Zone - Part 1

So friend contains the word fried.  After all the reading I've done on Lexigrams I should be able to make something of that... but I can't.  So I'll leave that for another day.

In today's advice column, let's talk about flirting and the friend zone, or rather how to stay out of it.

Cos that's what we all want right?

I'll answer that myself.  No - young girls - in all their innocence - may think that the friend zone is fine for a variety of reasons. These girls usually fall in one of two categories:

Girl category 1 - Girls who believe it'll happen someday.
Motto: So what if he doesn't love me yet - some day he will.

Grow up darling.  I'm not saying it'll never happen - but you know what they say about relying on the exception right?

You don't?

Okay - well here's the rule you should follow - REALISE THAT YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BE THE EXCEPTION.

Girl category 2 - The Martyr
Motto:  I live to serve you

This is the girl who loves the guy so much that she just wants to be there for him and support him expecting nothing in return.

To these girls - well what can I say.  I've been there. Standing by my man's side with unflinching love.  Until I grew up and realized that men don't need it, don't appreciate it, and don't want it.  If you wanted chicken biryani and someone tried to feed you soup would you want it?  [Not that I'm calling you soup.  If that offends you I'll call you ice cream.  Happy?]  Ahem - let me rephase -> If you wanted chicken biryani and someone tried to feed you soup ice-cream would you want it?  Sure if you're starving you'll be grateful - but in the end - its not what you want.  And nothing in the world will turn soup ice-cream into biryani.

***

So anyway, I need to get back to doing real stuff instead of gabbing away here -> but my experiments with men, flirting and the friend zone shall continue... More on that later...

More sad poetry...

I saw a garden full of flowers,

each smiling and bobbing its head,

not knowing, not guessing,

that soon each smiling face would be dead.

They laugh, they cry,

they live, they die,

leaving us, rotten poets,

standing still, and asking why

Why should they ever live,

if they soon have to die,

why should they ever know,

what its like to be free, to fly

They should be earthbound

cocooned and lifeless

not deluded with false hopes

when all know they are hopeless

They should smash their heads

On the stones at their feet

Stab themselves with their thorns

Bleed with each heartbeat,

If I could comfort them I would,

Though a cold comfort it'd be,

I'd tell them to fake a smile,

and to learn from the distant sea.

the sea is cold and wonderful,

it can shine or it can suck,

it crashes and destroys and uplifts,

and in the end it doesn't give a fuck.