This turned into a complicated post. All I started out to do was explain a dilemma without going into the particulars. It ended up like a movie I once saw, where all thru the movie they show you only the characters' feet. (The camera never went above mid-calf level) Not for those without both brains n persistence. (And headache medicine will be required for those with comprehension problems)
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Sometimes you know someone is going to do something stupid.
You try to drop a hint.
They tell you that you're wrong.
N you can't say anything more cos then they'll think you're just trying to interfere or even worse that you're envious.
So instead of telling them what your instincts are screaming, you keep quite, smile n pretend that they're doing the right thing.
Then there comes a day when things go wrong for them. You care. You think that the stupid thing they did is the cause. One of life's long shadows. Maybe if they realise that that's the cause, they can prevent more pain n sorrow. But you can't remind them. Your hands are tied. You tried once n they didn't listen n if you try again they might think you're just gloating that you've been proved right.
I think people who won't listen to you before making a mistake will definitely not listen to you after it's too late. Instead of facing up to the fact that they were wrong they'll look for other things to blame. Cos facing up to their errors will bring on more guilt than they can stand.
I may be wrong. I wonder what's more important to me. Staying in their good books or taking a chance n reminding them about stuff from the past.
Easy, most people would say. That's what I'd tell people too. I'd tell them it doesn't matter if they like you for it or not. You need to tell if it may do some good.
But here's the case for not telling.
1) I tried to drop a hint n I got a reply which shows they've totally closed their minds to the possibility that they made a mistake.
2) If they do admit they made a mistake it would devastate them for sure n any benefits would only be seen much much later. Ergo, definite losses in the short term with the possibility of a huge benefit in the long run.
What would you do?
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
A dilemma
Posted by KD13 at 12:13 am
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6 comments:
some people just love to learn things the hard way.
If the hard way doesnt spark any sign of realisation and they dont realise their folly! you need to give up bothering about them.
Unless not talking can cause actual physical harm to someone don't bother about them.
@ glenn - doubt anyone really 'likes' learning the hard way. They're just forced to do so cos they're too pig-headed to listen to others!
@ s_s - Yup, it could cause medical problems both for them n for any kids they may have. People are such idiots!
Hmmm... I'd say it depends on how much you care about them. There are very few people I care about so much that I'd do something for them even if it made them hate me.
Only tell them if you really care for them enough to bear their hatred n scorn n anything else they may throw at you.
And remember it may not be just them. Everyone they talk to may end up thinking you're just trying to 'gloat' as you put it.
say just practice sayin :NO" aloud everyday
@ bachelor_boy - thanks for pointing out the bit about everyone else also misunderstanding. The minus column is now so heavy the scales have tipped over.
@ candytosser - Will do. "No" shall become my new mantra. :)
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