A friend gave me a wonderful gift and then took it away. He didn't mean to hurt me but did. He apologized, I forgave him. End of story. Or it should be....
The problem is I am still angry. The anger sweeps over me unexpectedly and then I have to remind myself of how I'd feel if the tables were turned to force myself to cool down. After all if I had hurt someone unthinkingly and then genuinely apologized, I'd want them to forgive me. So why can't I get this out of my mind?!
Maybe there's a part of me that doesn't believe it was completely unthinking. I think at some level, he must have known what would happen. And maybe it's because a part of me also believes he doesn't have any idea how much he hurt me. Maybe he doesn't think I am justified in feeling so bad.
I don't know. I may never know. It may not be important anyway. Things come and go. I just wish this anger would be one of those things.
The problem is I am still angry. The anger sweeps over me unexpectedly and then I have to remind myself of how I'd feel if the tables were turned to force myself to cool down. After all if I had hurt someone unthinkingly and then genuinely apologized, I'd want them to forgive me. So why can't I get this out of my mind?!
Maybe there's a part of me that doesn't believe it was completely unthinking. I think at some level, he must have known what would happen. And maybe it's because a part of me also believes he doesn't have any idea how much he hurt me. Maybe he doesn't think I am justified in feeling so bad.
I don't know. I may never know. It may not be important anyway. Things come and go. I just wish this anger would be one of those things.
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