Everybody's life sucks and where is the time??

I lost a good friend because she didn't think I made enough time for her. I mean there were lots of other problems but that was one the main reasons she was unhappy with me and one of the main reasons I never regretted losing the friendship. I was just exhausted of trying and failing to meet expectations. 

I had my own shit going wrong and yeah maybe it didn't compare to hers in her eyes but it was real and hard for me.

And now several years later we happened to get in touch and I realised i still don't have enough time. 

In fact now i have more friends who have issues. 

So there's new friend A. Who has a small child and whose husband is not around... I haven't inquired about her in ages! I just remembered her now cos my maid is pregnant and I thought she might be able to advise her. 

Then there's B my maid,.or rather ex maid. Shes allmost 8.months pregnant. We told her to stay home and we'd pay her cos otherwise shed insist on trying to work. She had plans and dreams.  Now is scrambling for an unplanned child she did not want. 

Then there's C. The ex friend. Used to be closest from a group. Health and money issues... So many issues...

Then there's D. Also from the same old friend group. She's moved to a place where she has to deal with potentially racist people. She was on the phone with me when walking her dog and has to keep saying good morning to everyone coa otherwise people might think she's standoffish. But currently she's probably having the least problems. At least she has no health or money issues. 

Then there's J. Also an old friend of not from the old friend group. She also had a kid maybe 5 or 6 years back. Apparently he's autistic. And her husband left them once he was diagnosed. And she's cut off from friends and family and can't shift closer cos she can't take the kit without the husbands approval and he won't.

Who next? Maybe K. From the old friend group. Has a child about three years back. When my problems were peak. I thought she's distanced herself cos she's busy. Nope. MIL had a bypass. Husband has cancer and depression. 

Then there are S and M.

S. A relatively new friend although it's been more than 10 years. Hes dealing with aging and I'll parents all be himself. And financial worries too as our of work. 

And M. Also an old friend but not in the group. But more like almost 20 years. Almost the exact same problem. 

2026 and where did 2025 go???

This is just a post to chronical that I am alive and well and somehow made it thru 2025nwithout a single post. Tsk tsk ...

I have however realised why I post less.

It's cos I'm having an existential crisis of sort. Sort of 

I want to be sarcastic, mean, whacky and bitter ... The posts would write themselves and they are such a fun read. But midway through any post my Abe side comes out. The side that knows that life isn't bad and that I'm actually quite blessed. And then my entire shtick, the full miasma of misery, all blows away. And no one wants to read Pollyanna!