Three different couples I know are at three very different stages in their relationships.
Couple A - The girl is my friend. The guy is an asshole :)... I know thats biased... well this is my world ... so guess who rules. She wants to move deeper into a relationship. He's trying to run for his life. The more he runs the more dependent she's becoming. Ordinarily I'd tell her to stick it out... but this guy is really an asshole. He's not a clean heart. He's an ordinary guy. She deserves better. She's my friend.
Couple B - Both are my friends. Both were totally uninterested in marriage some time back. Now both are actively considering it. The guy more so. The girl is trying not to invest too much of herself in the relationship just in case it doesn't work out. Well, they are both from traditional families so tomorrow his folks will meet her and her family. If all goes well she can stop guarding her heart and allow herself to be as enthusiastic about it as he seems to be.
Couple C - Here also, both are my friends. This is very painful for me. How horrible it is for both of them I can only imagine. The guy is acting like a typical heavy handed romeo... determined to put her in the wrong... Is it something that guys have programmed in their brains... how to be a jerk.
I'm not saying she's handlin' it in a gr8 way.... though maybe she is. She has an immense capacity to literally forget all the hurtful things he says to her. She's hurt and confused but if he was nice tomorrow I really believe she could move on happily. He's a different story. He's carrying this immense grudge inside him. Every step of the way he's lashing out and punishing her. Should I interfere n tell him what I think of him. What if I just make it worse. If I interfere n they break up b'cos of me... will it really be for the best as I'm coming to believe. I'm really fond of her. I wouldn't want her to ever feel that I did it cos I once liked him cos that's so not the case. I'm not feeling very predisposed towards him at the moment. What if I make him feel like I'm not his friend anymore. Then if they do end he might feel abandoned by everyone. I don't much care at the moment but I don't want him sliding back into the dope den he's crawled out off.
Couple A - The girl is my friend. The guy is an asshole :)... I know thats biased... well this is my world ... so guess who rules. She wants to move deeper into a relationship. He's trying to run for his life. The more he runs the more dependent she's becoming. Ordinarily I'd tell her to stick it out... but this guy is really an asshole. He's not a clean heart. He's an ordinary guy. She deserves better. She's my friend.
Couple B - Both are my friends. Both were totally uninterested in marriage some time back. Now both are actively considering it. The guy more so. The girl is trying not to invest too much of herself in the relationship just in case it doesn't work out. Well, they are both from traditional families so tomorrow his folks will meet her and her family. If all goes well she can stop guarding her heart and allow herself to be as enthusiastic about it as he seems to be.
Couple C - Here also, both are my friends. This is very painful for me. How horrible it is for both of them I can only imagine. The guy is acting like a typical heavy handed romeo... determined to put her in the wrong... Is it something that guys have programmed in their brains... how to be a jerk.
I'm not saying she's handlin' it in a gr8 way.... though maybe she is. She has an immense capacity to literally forget all the hurtful things he says to her. She's hurt and confused but if he was nice tomorrow I really believe she could move on happily. He's a different story. He's carrying this immense grudge inside him. Every step of the way he's lashing out and punishing her. Should I interfere n tell him what I think of him. What if I just make it worse. If I interfere n they break up b'cos of me... will it really be for the best as I'm coming to believe. I'm really fond of her. I wouldn't want her to ever feel that I did it cos I once liked him cos that's so not the case. I'm not feeling very predisposed towards him at the moment. What if I make him feel like I'm not his friend anymore. Then if they do end he might feel abandoned by everyone. I don't much care at the moment but I don't want him sliding back into the dope den he's crawled out off.
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