If you know me in the 'real-world'... Keep it to yourself.

Do NOT tell my friends and family about this blog!

This blog is a work in progress. Eventually, when it grows up, it wants to look pretty. Or maybe dark and dangerous.

Hmm... well come back later and see for yourself...

If you want to contact me but are a) too chicken to leave a public comment and
b) too lazy to look up my email address from my profile
use the form below.

Name:
Email Address:

Monday, October 16, 2006

This one is for the guys...

For some reason guys are always comfortable coming to me for advice. Single guys and not-so-single guys. And since all girls discuss their problems with their friends, I've had to deal with more than my fair share of 'relationship problems'.

This post is for the single guys who say they don't want to remain single. It's NOT for those singles who've decided that they'd rather stick to their bachelorhood. It's not for guys who are just looking to get dates. That's fine as long as they know what they want. This post is only for those single guys who say they want a serious relationship. I've listed what I believe are 2 major reasons most guys I know are having trouble 'getting a girl'. There are loads more. But these two are real problems that most guys will ignore if possible. I have friends who think they only need a great car n oodles of money to get girls falling all over them. Well, no car and no amount of money is going to get you a serious relationship with any woman worth having.

1] Most guys don't really like girls. As human beings. And I'm dead serious about this. Most of the guys I know, like me as a friend, but they insist that girls in general are 'money-crazy bitches'. They think girls are shallow, vain, shopping-crazy, manipulative etc. And then they all bitch n moan that they have trouble getting a girl. That is so crazy. Girls can pick up the signals you send out. When I'm talking to a guy, I'm not going to want to spend time with him if he gives out a signal that says that he believes that all girls are bitches. No way. Not even to prove him wrong. I might have tried to get him to change his mind 5-6 years ago when I was very naive. But now I know that anyone who thinks that way, is just going to be on the lookout for evidence to prove his point.

2]Most guys know nothing about girls. And they don't want to know. Not really. They'd be bored out of their skulls. They assume that all they have to do is meet the 'right' girl n then everything will fall into place n they'll live happily ever after. They don't realise that any girl can be the 'right' girl if they just take the trouble to learn about women. All women are similar. We can all be angels or demons at different times. Very few guys will take the trouble to try n understand the girl's point of view. Tell them there's a book that will explain women and they don't bother to read it. What kind of attitude is that. If a guy can't be bothered even before getting the girl, what are the chances he'll bother later. Slim to none. Even if there's a problem later he'll just pretend there's no problem until the girl walks out on him. And then he'll bitch about her to his friends. You can't expect to understand women instinctively. Women are different. We think differently and we act differently. What we think is caring you think is interfering. You see the problem here? We go out of our way to show you we care. We expect some appreciation and love. Instead we get crucified for 'interfering'!

I'm not defending girls here. So please spare me calls n mail telling me girls are evil and that guys are to be pitied. If you think girls are evil you should be determined to stay a bachelor. Nothing wrong with that. Some girls may indeed be worthy of scorn. But reserve your scorn for those girls. Don't shove all your anger and all your 'issues' on every girl you meet. And please do read some good 'relationship' books.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is typically a girls view point.

Anonymous said...

I don't agree with the first point atleast. Sure I complain but only about girls who deserve it. I never say all girls are like that.

Anonymous said...

@ john - You're not single.

Anonymous said...

@ amy - thats not the point. There was a long period in my life when I was single though I didn't want to be.

Anonymous said...

@ amy - are you saying you agree with everything in this post.

Anonymous said...

@ john - Pretty much. I'm fed up of being considered 'just a girl' by guys. I'm fed up of the assumptions most guys make about girls. When I met a guy who shows me he's really interested in me as a person, when he's polite & takes the trouble to find out what I like and dislike, it shows me that he values me. Just because I'm a girl doesn't automatically mean I have nothing to talk about!

@ karen - sorry. We will now move our argument to YM.

Kshitij L said...

Pearls of wisdom. But you know what? All chicks are money crazy, shopping fevered, hunk chasing, attitude infused bitches.

So there. I'll be better off gay.

KD13 said...

@ anonymous - I'm a girl and I was trying to give the girls point of view to guys who needed it. Duh!

@ john & amy - I'm sure both of you can educate each other without any help from me.

@ suspect - Way to go.... :) I've always wanted to know a gay guy. But have to point out that gay or straight, I doubt you can avoid the money crazy, shopping fevered, hunk chasing, attitude infused type. It's not a prerogative of the female race you know. Maybe you could just try being asexual.

glenn said...

So many women i know, say the exact same things about guys. girls will be girls, boys will be boys.

Karen, Its time you gave up on the boys and talked about men.

A gentleman is not easy to find i know. but you should see how difficult its become to Find a lady now a days.

..and its not age that separates men from the boys.

Kshitij L said...

Unfortunately, I'm hetero. I'm trying to cultivate gayness, though.

Kshitij L said...

Oh, and I'm cultivting a Terrible Fish.

KD13 said...

@ glenn - Well I guess the problem is that men and women can be very boring. That's why men chase girls and women don't appreciate the men they know.
ok, I'm not really serious about that but that's the way it seems.

@ suspect - good luck with both the gayness and the fish :)
Like I said I've always wanted to meet a gay guy and I love eating fish, so it's all good :D

Woozie said...

So wait, what? Our little colored friend from India is gay, and then he's straight, and then he's trying to be gay, make your damn mind up already!

KD13 said...

@ woozie - methinks he's just not ready to come out of the closet :D

Kshitij L said...

That closet is a Terrible Fish.

KD13 said...

@ suspect - I like my fish fried with garlic and butter. Or maybe with reachado masala. Or maybe...

Come to think of it I like fish almost every way.....

*licking lips n drooling*

Anonymous said...

So much for feeding the baby, I feel it will suffer from food poisoning at this rate :-)

-MP

KD13 said...

@ MP - Don't worry about the baby overeating. Just keep feeding it. It needs to grow!

fedes said...

heh heh heh
boys, boys, boys!
can't live wothout them and sure as hell can't live with them (in goa, at least;) )

P said...

Nonsense. Absolute nonsense.

KD13 said...

@ fedes - :)

@ p - to each his/her own. Don't tell me you're one of the guys the post was aimed at... :D

Remember to qualify you have to be single.
And you have to be trying (and failng) to rid yourself of all that singleness.

[Now why oh why would you want to admit to being in that category...]

P said...

Now now, remember there's a category out there who would prefer to stay single! So your post does not cover all the eventualities.

So, its basically incomplete nonsense :)

P said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
P said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
P said...

Thankfully your post isn't an oxymoron like 'Every relationship that goes wrong is like a guiding light' :)

(Posted this 3 times to get it right, thanks to Blogger.com's(ie google's) amazing resource allocations.)

KD13 said...

Like I said... "It's NOT for those singles who've decided that they'd rather stick to their bachelorhood. It's not for guys who are just looking to get dates. That's fine as long as they know what they want."

See. I did cover all the eventualities!

And I like your oxymoron. Reminds me of Rascal Flatts 'God Bless the Broken Road'.

Now I know what to post any time I want to annoy you... *skipping about happily*

P said...

Nonetheless I still maintain that this post of yours is nothing but crap. Crap, crap, first order crap! :)

About Mr Flatts 'God Bless the Broken Road'. His first name surely does give me some indication of what to expect.

KD13 said...

Rascal Flatts is an American country music band. And they are really GOOD. If a bit sappy at times.

Try listening to 'God Bless this Broken Road', Skin/SarahBeth, or This Everyday Love.

And peace... this time I'll wave the white flag, dirty as it may be.

:D

P said...

I stand corrected.

My knowledge on country music being exposed, I shall wave the white flag too. A clean one this time.

Anonymous said...

Women are Golddiggers. Women see men as a source of wealth. Whether spending one night with a pro athlete, or one year married to a millionaire, a woman's goal is to get a maximum amount of money out of the man. -Tom Leykis

Apparently this radio jockey is spreading the gospel truth. Hallelujah!!!!

-MP

Anonymous said...

this post was very cool, i just submitted it to digg

http://digg.com/offbeat_news/This_one_is_for_the_Guys

guys lets go to the site and digg it :-)

P said...

Wow, 4 diggs! :)

Anonymous said...

hmmm the basic fact is that guys and gals are different...

so i can state the above in the following way 2

1. Most girls dont really like guys.

2. Most girls know nothing about guys. They dont want to know!!

i know its not 100 % true, just tryin to make a point

KD13 said...

@ MP - You and Tom Leykis sure have a lot in common. Any women who winds up with either of you should be ashamed of herself for letting womenkind down. Unfortunately there's no fool like a girl in love so you might still get lucky.

@ p - yay!!!

@ the anonymous guy whose comment is just above this one - C'mon... how can you say girls don't want to understand guys. We have book-shelves filled with books like 'Men are from Mars' and 'He's just not that into you' and others that I'm not going to name here... *embarrassed blush*

We want to understand guys. really and truly. We long to understand them, baby them, help them, mother them... so on and so forth. And I'm not really proud of that!

Anonymous said...

Hey...
i got 'men are from mars' on my bookshelf 2..

and have u visited this site?

www.askmen.com :-)

KD13 said...

@ anonymous - You go girl! or guy! :)

Great book isn't it. It's pretty correct about the women's PoV. Even if it isn't as accurate about guys (I've no idea) it's helped me have more patience with them and I think that's the most important thing: To have patience with the opposite sex and understand that they have a different perspective that should be respected.

As for askmen.com. Nope. But I'll definitely check it out; though have to say, when I want advice I prefer calling up all my guy friends in turn... until someone says something I like :)

Cecilia said...

Gosh Kar..i do agree with you. Thankfully all men dont think we are after their money, they better not, esp whn we agree to split tabs many times! Though i do agree that if most tried to understand girls as much as we try to understand them and respect these differences, life would be so much mre simple!!Good one tho..